I want more

I’m in a place where I’m realizing I want more out of life. Right now my life is very simple and plain. Not a lot going on. The last big event that I had in my life, Spocon, has passed. Now the only things to occupy my time besides work, is planning worship services for church. And that’s on a very inconsistent schedule.

Seeing other people move on with their lives makes me realize how stagnant I’ve been. I’ve got friends that are getting married in the next week, I’ve got other friends releasing CD’s, and I have other friends truly living their dreams. I envy them.

I wish I had their courage to pursue my dreams. That lack of courage has kept me from being the musician I want to be. I never have the courage to share my own thoughts. Like right now, I’m paranoid people are going to find this blog and think I’m weird. It’s rough. But I need to learn to be vulnerable and share my words/music if God is going to use it. He will give me the courage.

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