Why do I write?

There are days when I wonder, why do I write? What purpose do my words have? Who reads them?

From the lack of comments on some of my posts, I have a feeling that very few people actually read this, which is OK. I’m not maintaining this blog for the comments or the glory of knowing that people are reading my thoughts. I’m not seeking to get puffed up about my writing.

What I am seeking to do is to get into the practice of writing more. I want to write because I want to get in the habit of writing often. And not just blogging and putting a stream on conscience on paper. I wanna be able to write poetry and music and stories; maybe some day an actual book. Writing is not my passion but I enjoy having a place where I can speak my mind.

What my passion is though is music. I am discovering that I enjoy music and I enjoy making music. I want to get to the point some day where I trust myself enough to not only write words, but to share them. And not these words, these are just thoughts in my head but I want to be able to write about my deepest intimate thoughts and feel safe sharing them with those around me.

It is a very scary thought to sit down and share music or words that I’ve written down with people. It’s a vulnerability I know all too well. While I’ve never done it, the fear alone of sharing words paralyzes me into not even putting words on paper. I am working on it though. Nobody likes be vulnerable in front of people and I am no exception. In some cases I think of myself as the spokes person for not being vulnerable and trusting people.

I hope to get over that some day and this blog is helping. So, that’s I think the heart of why I write. I think God has blessed me with thoughts to be shared with those around me and He’s blessed me with a heart for music. I hope to someday be able to be vulnerable in front of people and I hope and pray that it turns out OK. Anyways, that’s all I’ve got for now.

Posted on February 11th, 2010 by howie | 1 Comment »

MercyMe – All of Creation

So some people know how much of a mercyme fan I am. I honestly didn’t realize it until I went to my third concert and sang along to all of their songs. I’ve become an even bigger mercyme fan since I realized just how much they like to tweet. They’re currently getting ready to release their next latest CD and I am extremely excited for it.

The CD is called, “The Generous Mr. Lovewell.” Bart Millard, the lead singer, explains a little bit more about the idea behind the CD:

It’s an interesting concept and I think one of the first “concept” albums from the group.

To help generate interest in their new CD, the guys from MercyMe went on a country-wide radio tour sharing their first single “All of Creation” with radio stations all over the USA. This first single is a great song of worship talking about every part of all creation bringing praise to God. Bart expands on this more here:

It’s an awesome song and is a great reminder of just how awesome God is. I love it! Here are the lyrics for the song. Feel free to comment and leave you’re opinions on the song.

Separated until the veil was torn
The moment that hope was born
and guilt was pardoned once and for all

Captivated but no longer bound by chains
left at an empty grave
the sinner and the sacred resolved

chorus:
and all of creation sing with me now
lift up your voice and lay your burden down
and all of creation sing with me now
fill up the heavens let his glory resound

Time has faded and we see him face to face
every doubt erased forever we will worhip the king

chorus

the reason we breathe is to sing of his glory
and for all he has done praise the father praise the son and the spirit in one

chorus

and every knee will bow oh and every tongue praise the father praise the son and the spirit in one.

Posted on February 11th, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

How do you measure a year?

I just received from my Netflix queue a dvd of the final performance of Rent on Broadway. It is AMAZING! I love this show. The most famous song from the whole show is called “Seasons of Love.” It’s a stirring anthem asking the question, “How do you measure a year?” In daylight? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee? These lyrics remind us of how important it is to take advantage of each moment, living life to the fullest each moment of each day.

How does that apply to my life as a Christian? I think it applies really well. Living each day to the fullest for HIS glory is a great creed all Christians can and should live by. Am I relying 100% on Christ? Is His life, lived through me, reaching those around me? Have I shown Christ today? Have I seen Christ today?

Even moreso than just living a life dependent on Christ, are we, as Christians, experiencing the fullness of life in Christ? Are we enjoying ALL the blessings of being a part of God’s chosen family?

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. – John 10:10 (NASB)

Are we having life abundantly? I know I am learning what it means to partake in the abundance of life in Christ. I hope to someday figure it out but I don’t think I will ever completely figure out. I believe that it one of those things that we won’t know until we reach glory. What a glorious day that will be.

I leave you with “Seasons of Love.” Enjoy!

Seasons of Love
Words and Lyrics by Jonathan Larson
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes – how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes – how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes –
how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let’s celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

Posted on February 8th, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

Employed!

So as of 2:00pm PST this afternoon, my long streak of being unemployed came to an end! I was officially offered a job at Best Buy as a member of the geek squad. I still have to pass the drug test and the background check but I don’t think that’ll be a problem.

It’s nice to know that I have work now and that I have something that will start bringing money in again. Having to rely on Theresa’s single income has been rough but knowing that I’ll finally be able to contribute again is a good feeling. I am not certain the exact amount of hours I’ll be working but I’m assuming it’ll be sometime between 25 and 30 hours.

I also think this is a good job for me to have because it plays to the skills I have while I’m gaining new skills in music. I’m really glad to finally have a job again. Hopefully I won’t get overwhelmed with work and school. Pray for me for that please!

Posted on February 4th, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

Free time?

I have nothing to do today… This is a really odd feeling. There is nothing that has to get done today. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself… Maybe I’ll watch a movie or play a game. Heh, I might just take a nap. That would be awesome. Anyways, I’m going to stop spending my time in front of the computer and find something enjoyable to do with the rest of my night.

Posted on February 3rd, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

Bible Failures?

When I think of the characters of the bible, I can’t help but think about the awesome men & women of God that have come down through the history: David, Solomon, Sampson, Ruth, Esther, Peter, Mary and many, many others. These biblical titans are great examples of living the life of constant dependence upon God. Their stories are so great and so well known that it’s hard to not deify these mighty men and women of the bible. Yet the bible itself tells us that they aren’t nearly as perfect as we once thought they were.

Sitting in Bible Study Methods class today, a gentleman (whose name I can’t remember for the life of me) gave a devotional about how a boat had started to sink and the people were looking around for the captain and crew to figure out what to do. People looked in the captains room, the bridge of the ship; they looked everywhere, but the captain and crew couldn’t be found. Someone eventually looked out to sea and saw two life boats in the water, heading towards shore. One boat held the captain and the crew and the other boat held all of their luggage. What a shock that must have been to the people on the ship; to see the person in charge of the whole ship, being concerned with himself and his crew and none of his passengers. What a shock it must have been to see the captain fail the expectations of the people on board that ship.

When those we expect to be heroic and powerful, fail to meet that expectation, what does that do to a person? How do you handle that? Does your world come completely crashing down like so many people in the world? Did your world stop when Michael Jackson died like so many others in the world? How hard it has on the people we idolize to be a gods to us.

The thing I really like about the bible is that it doesn’t pull any punches; it tells the story how it happened. Take for example King David: He is called “…a man after God’s own heart,” yet David had multiple wives, had an affair with Bathsheba, had Bathsheba’s husband killed, and then took Bathsheba as his own wife. Does that sound like the King David we normally hear about at church?

How great is our God that He could use someone who had as screwed up a life as David? How great is our God that He could use someone with sins like mine? It’s a very humbling thought to know that I screw up a lot and yet God is still willing to use me anyways.

Posted on January 30th, 2010 by howie | 3 Comments »

Hopeful things in the future

While life is rough apart from Theresa, things are getting better. I’ve got a job interview on Wednesday and I will hopefully soon be employed by the Geek Squad!

I was able to randomly see Theresa this weekend which was great! It made me really happy that I got to see her. Made getting homework done extremely difficult but I was glad to see her. I didn’t realize how much I was in need of seeing her until she walked through the door. Thankfully she’ll be back down here in a few weeks for her birthday.

I also am hopeful about the church I went to last night, interestingly enough called “Door of Hope.” The pastor of the church is the lead singer/songwriter/guitarist for the band Telecast. The church itself is only four months old and it’s a very open and welcoming place. I enjoyed it quite a bit. The pastor, Josh, preaches a theology I believe of Christ in you. Overall it was a good experience. I plan on attending again and looking for God’s direction more than anything else.

Posted on January 26th, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

On Procrastination

So… who’s writing a blog post instead of doing their homework? This guy! Why is it that I find it so difficult to do homework? Really it’s anything that requires consistency and discipline… I’m not certain what it is that causes me to avoid those things but I do. It can be very frustrating at times too.

This weekend I a somewhat large assignment due, my first paper. It’s required to be between six and eight pages long on the settings of Jonah. By settings I mean, the physical places, not the mood or plot point made by the particular place. It’s an interesting paper that’s requiring me to think outside of the box that I normally think of the bible it. It’s a great brain exercise. Unfortunately, it’s making my brain exercise too much. I’m having a tough time trying to get enough research done on other points in the bible that those settings show up at. It’s made for a long week. Now it’s Sunday evening and I haven’t even started writing my paper yet. Very very annoying.

As I said, it’s a great assignment and very challenging for me; I just hope I can get it finished before class tomorrow…

P.S. I found some pure cane sugar Dr. Pepper yesterday. That stuff is AMAZING!

Posted on January 24th, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

Prayers in School

I am SO thankful that I go to a school that prays before each class period starts. It’s so cool to be able to start each class with God. It’s a very unique experience and different experience from public school. We just finished praying in my philosophy class. A class on Philosophy and we’re praying! It’s awesome!

I wonder if this was what classes were like during the 1950s? Were they excited to be able to talk to the Creator of the Universe? I know being able to do that in class is a great feeling.

I really think the best part is that I get to take a class where I get to learn about a particular topic and learn about it from a Christian perspective. In particular my philosophy class has been great. It’s nice to be able to see these different philosophical thoughts and see how they line up with my Christian world view.

Another class where this comes up a lot is psychology. The teacher, Dave Jungward (youngward), is great at explaining the original theories and then asking questions about how it did or didn’t line up with the world view of the students in the class. It’s awesome to be able to think and process through the thoughts and views of the different theories out there that aren’t necessarily “Christian.” It’s really helping me to start thinking for myself and draw my own conclusions.

I’m really glad to be in school here. It’s rough being away from my beautiful wife but I am glad that I get to be here learning about my awesome Creator while getting college credit. It’s awesome! For now I’m gonna head to bed. Be blessed!

Posted on January 24th, 2010 by howie | No Comments »

Welcome a new member to our family

I recently went and picked up a great new addition to the family. I haven’t picked out a name quite yet but I’m thinking I might call him Bentley. We’ll see. Here are some cell-phone quality pictures that I can post until I get a better camera.