Tag Archives: life

Speaking of Writing – Part Deux

So… that last post about NaNoWriMo? Yea… Just ignore it. I kinda ran into a few dozen walls along the way that have kept me from being able to write and I’ve fallen WAY behind in the writing process. So I am going to concede for this year and try again next year.

But I have been inspired to get back into writing in my blog more often. I’d really like to become more consistent at writing down my thoughts. I’ve got a journal, but just like this blog I’m terrible at using it. So I’m going to endeavor to keep writing and get myself putting more of my thoughts down on paper or, in this case, on the Internet for the world to see.
Continue reading Speaking of Writing – Part Deux

An Unusual Source of Inspiration

I recently stumbled across some of the latest music of rapper Eminem. While I know he has had an interesting history in the public eye, I have found myself come to a place of respect for him. I think it first happened when I found out that he played a lot of his songs with live musicians and not just loop machines and a DJ. I’ve also come to respect how honest he is in his music. He speaks his mind, regardless of what people will think. That amount of vulnerability is rarely found in a famous musician.

I stumbled across this video recently and it resonates really deeply within me. He details a lot of the fears, dreams, and struggles of being a famous dad. I think it’s a great thing to know that the fears that I know I’m going to have as a dad are shared by others. Even someone as infamous as Eminem has those issues.

I really appreciate the first part of the first verse. Talking about being willing to protect and do anything for his daughter. I know that’s how I’m going to feel about my kids. I know they’re going to be the best things that ever happen to me. I can’t wait to have kids. I hope I can be the dad they deserve…

Lent

Lent, a somewhat odd spiritual practice of some of the more liturgical denominations, has come around again and I have decided to partake of it this year. I decided this year would be a good year to give up pop, more specifically caffeine, and see if I can go 40 days without it. I have admitted to myself several times that I am a caffeine addict and lent has given me an excuse to try and get over my addiction. The hardest part in all honesty is going to be after lent is over. I am fairly certain I can go 40 days without a pop, but it’s the time afterwards, what do I do with pop now that I’ve gone without it?

I know I’ll still enjoy pop and a large part of me is sitting here waiting for the Monday after Easter to come so I can go buy a Dr. Pepper and enjoy it like I never have before. But is that really what I want or should be doing? Lent is a time where we reflect on life and see how something that we physically do can interfere with our relationship with God. If I have gone through the practice properly and I see that pop for whatever reason is interfering with my relationship with God, should I really go back to it after Lent is over? Am I giving it up for the right reasons?

Lent really is an extended fast from certain things. I don’t agree with some of the weirder rules about not having to fast on Sunday’s and such. Fasting really is a time where you can remove something from your life and focus instead on God. But what happens when you discover that that thing really is interfering with your life?

I think in an ideal world you would be able to completely give it up. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. I know for me personally, I don’t think pop directly interferes with my relationship with God but it can indirectly affect things. It can cause me to gain weight and not be as healthy as I could be. Not to mention, spending money on pop is not the best way to spend my money. How better could it be used? Could I use it for things like tithe for church? Maybe put it in savings? I’m sure I can find much better uses for money I would normally spend on pop.

So here’s to 40 days (or more) without pop. I am excited to see what God will show me about myself as I go through this journey.

Why do I write?

There are days when I wonder, why do I write? What purpose do my words have? Who reads them?

From the lack of comments on some of my posts, I have a feeling that very few people actually read this, which is OK. I’m not maintaining this blog for the comments or the glory of knowing that people are reading my thoughts. I’m not seeking to get puffed up about my writing.

What I am seeking to do is to get into the practice of writing more. I want to write because I want to get in the habit of writing often. And not just blogging and putting a stream on conscience on paper. I wanna be able to write poetry and music and stories; maybe some day an actual book. Writing is not my passion but I enjoy having a place where I can speak my mind.

What my passion is though is music. I am discovering that I enjoy music and I enjoy making music. I want to get to the point some day where I trust myself enough to not only write words, but to share them. And not these words, these are just thoughts in my head but I want to be able to write about my deepest intimate thoughts and feel safe sharing them with those around me.

It is a very scary thought to sit down and share music or words that I’ve written down with people. It’s a vulnerability I know all too well. While I’ve never done it, the fear alone of sharing words paralyzes me into not even putting words on paper. I am working on it though. Nobody likes be vulnerable in front of people and I am no exception. In some cases I think of myself as the spokes person for not being vulnerable and trusting people.

I hope to get over that some day and this blog is helping. So, that’s I think the heart of why I write. I think God has blessed me with thoughts to be shared with those around me and He’s blessed me with a heart for music. I hope to someday be able to be vulnerable in front of people and I hope and pray that it turns out OK. Anyways, that’s all I’ve got for now.

How do you measure a year?

I just received from my Netflix queue a dvd of the final performance of Rent on Broadway. It is AMAZING! I love this show. The most famous song from the whole show is called “Seasons of Love.” It’s a stirring anthem asking the question, “How do you measure a year?” In daylight? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee? These lyrics remind us of how important it is to take advantage of each moment, living life to the fullest each moment of each day.

How does that apply to my life as a Christian? I think it applies really well. Living each day to the fullest for HIS glory is a great creed all Christians can and should live by. Am I relying 100% on Christ? Is His life, lived through me, reaching those around me? Have I shown Christ today? Have I seen Christ today?

Even moreso than just living a life dependent on Christ, are we, as Christians, experiencing the fullness of life in Christ? Are we enjoying ALL the blessings of being a part of God’s chosen family?

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. – John 10:10 (NASB)

Are we having life abundantly? I know I am learning what it means to partake in the abundance of life in Christ. I hope to someday figure it out but I don’t think I will ever completely figure out. I believe that it one of those things that we won’t know until we reach glory. What a glorious day that will be.

I leave you with “Seasons of Love.” Enjoy!

Seasons of Love
Words and Lyrics by Jonathan Larson
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes – how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes – how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes –
how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let’s celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

Free time?

I have nothing to do today… This is a really odd feeling. There is nothing that has to get done today. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself… Maybe I’ll watch a movie or play a game. Heh, I might just take a nap. That would be awesome. Anyways, I’m going to stop spending my time in front of the computer and find something enjoyable to do with the rest of my night.

Bible Failures?

When I think of the characters of the bible, I can’t help but think about the awesome men & women of God that have come down through the history: David, Solomon, Sampson, Ruth, Esther, Peter, Mary and many, many others. These biblical titans are great examples of living the life of constant dependence upon God. Their stories are so great and so well known that it’s hard to not deify these mighty men and women of the bible. Yet the bible itself tells us that they aren’t nearly as perfect as we once thought they were.

Sitting in Bible Study Methods class today, a gentleman (whose name I can’t remember for the life of me) gave a devotional about how a boat had started to sink and the people were looking around for the captain and crew to figure out what to do. People looked in the captains room, the bridge of the ship; they looked everywhere, but the captain and crew couldn’t be found. Someone eventually looked out to sea and saw two life boats in the water, heading towards shore. One boat held the captain and the crew and the other boat held all of their luggage. What a shock that must have been to the people on the ship; to see the person in charge of the whole ship, being concerned with himself and his crew and none of his passengers. What a shock it must have been to see the captain fail the expectations of the people on board that ship.

When those we expect to be heroic and powerful, fail to meet that expectation, what does that do to a person? How do you handle that? Does your world come completely crashing down like so many people in the world? Did your world stop when Michael Jackson died like so many others in the world? How hard it has on the people we idolize to be a gods to us.

The thing I really like about the bible is that it doesn’t pull any punches; it tells the story how it happened. Take for example King David: He is called “…a man after God’s own heart,” yet David had multiple wives, had an affair with Bathsheba, had Bathsheba’s husband killed, and then took Bathsheba as his own wife. Does that sound like the King David we normally hear about at church?

How great is our God that He could use someone who had as screwed up a life as David? How great is our God that He could use someone with sins like mine? It’s a very humbling thought to know that I screw up a lot and yet God is still willing to use me anyways.

A New Day

I have been waking up a lot for the past few nights. Not certain why, but I keep waking up early in the morning and I’m unable to go back to sleep. Today I was up two or three times between the time I fell asleep (midnightish) to now (approx. 5:20am). I am not certain why that is but I’m not terribly concerned. I’m going to try to take advantage of the opportunity and spend some more time in God’s Word getting to know who He is.

That has become one of my biggest struggles, getting into God’s Word consistently. I’ve always struggled with things that I know are supposed to happen consistently. It’s very tough to be stuck in the place of wanting to but never doing. I constantly feel like I’m not a good Christian because I don’t want to spend time growing my faith. God knows I need to figure this out, now more than ever. With the likelihood of Theresa and I moving to Portland soon so I can go to school, I’d like to have already established some good habits about prayer and scripture studying. I know I can’t do it on my own though. I need to find a group or someone to keep me accountable. If I don’t find that here, I pray I find that at school.

Here’s to a new day, a day full of amazing potential. I hope I don’t waste it.

Whoops! Life just happened

So life just kinda blew by and I haven’t taken the time to update this here blog of mine.

    Here’s a fun list of things that have happened in the last two weeks:

  • Celebrated the two year anniversary with my wife
  • Flew to Las Vegas and celebrated the wedding of Matt & Amanda Johnson
  • Spoke and lead worship at the retreat for Christian Heritage School
  • Drove to Seattle and was best man in my best friend Arick Olson’s wedding to his wife Jessy

Needless to say it’s been a busy few weeks. I’m leading worship this Sunday (the 13th) at church. Our roof is being redone and so because of it we’re having the services in our fellowship hall. It’s time for me to go to bed. More substantial posts incoming. I promise.